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Everyday hundreds of lonely bottles of wine gather dust at your local super market... Act now! Adopt a rescue wine.
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Tom: Okay uber driver, take me to the bank. Uber Driver: Shut up Tom, we're going to Petco.
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When you wake up late, but still manage to make it to work on time...
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When my alarm goes off and I remember I hate my life
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Sometimes my students scare me...
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When your lady wants italian, and you decide to spoil her, because she's your boo...
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When your mom tells you what a handsome young man you are
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I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.
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I have a "why am I like this" moment at least four times a day
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Me dealing with people these days...
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When you're super sensitive, and get offended by everything...
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When your Man won't let you throw them out, because they're his favorite pair...
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When you find out who burnt popcorn in the lunch room and stunk up the entire office.
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Some chairs just want to watch the world burn.
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The awkward moment when you walk in for a hair cut, and get punched in the face.
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When your best friend tries to get you to eat healthy
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If only she'd held onto Jack like this in Titanic maybe he would have survived
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This is why I have trust issues...
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The awkward moment when you specifically told your husbands's weird friend not to come to your wedding, but he shows up anyway.
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The proud moment as a father when you're looking over your daughter's homework...
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FRIEND: my wife and I just bought a 4th rental property last week Me: I have 7 gift cards in my wallet with less than a dollar each on them
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The most honest college sign I've ever seen.
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The awkward moment when you find out your Grandparents are into some freaky stuff.
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The special look on your boss's face when you hand him this as you walk out of a morning meeting...
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2 Years of high school Spanish classes finally pays off...
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When you ask for YOUR charger back and they say "what percent are you on?"
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I CAUGHT MY GIRLFRIEND IN BED WITH MY BEST FRIEND.
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ME AFTER A LONG DAY OF DOING THE BARE MINIMUM
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Sorry,but I'm empty Please do not touch me. Me too Gum Ball machine. Me too
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When someone asks if I want tacos Yeth...
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The only thing worse than ISIS is...
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Someone's got the right idea this morning...
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Wife wanted 5 mins alone... This was outside her door
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According to my parents, this is how they got to and from school everyday.
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Me looking at my friends as I'm being thrown out of the bar...
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Donald Trump Lookalike
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What The Freak... Did You Do In My Pool
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CAKE... What Type Of Icing Is This
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By FartInvite
IF ONLY WE WERE AS MOTIVATED
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YOU THREW IT, YOU GO GET IT...
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