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So cold outside. Saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
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His teenage daughter... Got text from boy saying, "Send Me A Bra Pic," this is dads response!!!!!
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Growing up poor...
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If i worked in a restaurant on Valentine's Day, I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink...
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Me and you is friends, you smile, I smile... You hurt, I hurt...
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I'm going crazy..Get in! You're riding shotgun!
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Decided to give this 'meal prep' thing a try. I'm pretty excited!
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Bill Cosby touched me too.
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When you and your bestie don't see eye to eye, but u remain besties cuz ur bitches and nobody likes u.
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Beverly Hillbillies. Happy New Year!
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OH man, who farted??
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NC farmers be like... Got to do the farm chores.
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When you and your best friend are on a diet so you only eat one slice.
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Apple bottom jeans. Boots with the furrr.
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Make a right up here into PetSmart. I gotz a gift card from Christmas.
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Mexican word of the day: Hoochie... My girl found another girls number in my phone...
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Tried You Tube tutorial on winged eye liner... nailed it!
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Woman assaults husband... who won't stop farting in bed.
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OK guys... who's got a lighter?
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What happens under the mistletoe, stays under the mistletoe...
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Attention ladies Santa is getting old. I'm his replacement!
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Bruce Jenner... I'm confused i keep smelling balls!?!
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When all you want to do is stay home and watch Christmas movies...
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I'M A LITTLE TEA POT SHORT AND STOUT OPEN MY MOUTH AND SHIT COMES OUT...
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How management be when company's in the area.
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IS THAT.. COULD IT BE..
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THE SOAP PICK IT UP
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DON'T BE AFRAID IT'LL BE FUN
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OBSESSED WITH PREPARING FOR APOCALYPSE CAN'T CLIMB STAIRS WITHOUT FAINTING
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Can you just stfu. For two minutes?
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Man To Stupid To Use Hat
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That Moment When You Just Feel Out Of Place
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6 Views
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Just found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me while at work so have kicked her out of the house.
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Cheaters BE like... JUZ came by to borrow some sugar... I Ain't Cheat N
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Hey Honey! Guess who left his Facebook open on the computer, and got a message from Kelsi?
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I love how people on here get all kinds of butt hurt about funny stuff but if someone says they are cheating on their spouse people think it's cute!
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By FartInvite
I can tell you a lot of things about my wife, but one thing she will never cheat on me.
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Never settle for being someone's other. When you know you have the potential to be someone's only.
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A cheaters punishment is to live a life of mistrust because they live in constant fear that the person they cheated with will also cheat on them. But i call it KARMA.
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By FartInvite
Until you're broken, you don't know what you're made of.
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