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Ever been so mad that you kicked a Rhino in the balls while playing guitar in front of a nuclear explosion?
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I'm out fishing for groomsmen... Just need a few suckers to bite.
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Lives with parents.
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Hurry! Take the picture!
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I like my women like i like my oil... Light, Sweet, Crude
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Can't see the haters when I've got my love glasses on...
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This is how i know there is a spider on the ceiling...
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I DON'T JUST BURN BRIDGES I DRAIN THE LAKE, FILL IT WITH CONCRETE & BUILD A SHOPPING MALL ON TOP OF THAT SUCKER
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Tag her baby daddy!!!!
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Which way is Walmart?
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Statistics show that animal abusers commit less abuse after being shot.
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If i could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I could be employed for life.
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That moment when you realize... You should've waited for your barber.
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Exercise?! I thought you said EXTRA FRIES!
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Mom's mad because today i ate a roll of paper towels. Dad thinks it's funny. He's calling me Dog the Bounty Hunter.
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"Life As A Female Be Like" I'm hungry. I'm tired. I'm fine. My legs hurt. Leave me alone.
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When you realize you didn't get any of the #Powerball numbers and you have to go back to work Monday!
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The best way to avoid disappointment is... stop thinking everyone is your friend!
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A college education... Stay in school, study hard, get a degree and still not make as much as her.
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Justin Bieber in London last week...
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Old Fashioned hamburgers now hiring full time losers.
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Employment... Where do i sign?
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Cheater Escape... YA'LL won't tell WILL you?
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Bruce Jenner... U guys will NEV-ER believe... what US ladies go through!!!!
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Hold ON folks... I'll be a woman someday!!!!
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Bruce Jenner... Just wanna give a big shout out to all the beautiful mothers out there. Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!
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That hair, those eyes, those lips. He is either Donald Trump, or a LOL cat.
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We shall over comb... Trump 2016
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Donald Trump was right! He said if Obama won there'd be hell toupee!
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Looks like rain... I'll shit behind the sofa
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When you thought you were done arguing but you hear him say something under his breath.
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Steve Harvey...Guess who's announcing the winning powerball numbers? This guy!!!
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When your cats falls asleep... on u, BUT u don't want to wake so u wait until u die of natural causes!!!
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Going to the park is serious business.
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I'm awake... But speak to me at your own risk!
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Redneck Mixer...
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Bruce Jenner... What can happen if you eat Wheaties for 38 years!
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BEAUTIFUL, SUNNY AND WARM SPRING DAYS I HATE THEM
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THE SUN IS GOING DOWN BETTER DRINK MY OWN PISS
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YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS? WHEN EVERY " SOLUTION " ON A TECH FORUM IS SOMEONE JUST SAYING THEY HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM
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