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Moma always said ... Stupid is as stupid does.
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I steal forks from restaurants
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Let me show you how to belly dance!
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My official Monday face...
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Good Morning! Let the STRESS begin...
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Happy Friday! Wait, sorry, it's Monday!
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When the alarm goes off on Monday morning:
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I don't always go to yard sales., but when i do, i turn here.
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Warning ... Forget the dog! Beware of the Wife!
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Take my EX'S stuff. Yard Sale, it's all gotta go! Just like him!
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U SO funny human, I'll eat you last.
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My bank has a new service where they text you your balance.
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Yes hello, I'd like to make a DE - PAWS - IT.
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Duck to human ... Deal with it!
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When fish run low ... stake out under swimmers pier
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Competent swimmers only. You don't say!
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Oh stop ... you make me blush
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KFC witness protection program
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Florida woman calls 911 after Mcdonald's runs out of McNuggets
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Next time you feel sad ... Just think about white people dancing!
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Fried chicken smell ... Detected
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We head N to the hood Baby ... DONTZ you worry.... YO mama BE pack N
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A friendly "Hayyy" From the Ghetto Tooth Fairy
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Justin Bieber ... You Tube star, turned celebrity... I STILL Believe!!
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Unemployed ... Once again, everything was fine until the interview.
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It's called work ... because all the other four letter words were taken.
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Hillary says ... ELECT me.... OBAMAS third term???
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Hillary Clinton SAYS Obama HAZ done a SWELL job!!! NO morals, BUT he good!!! I continue same legacy????
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Hillary ... Not good enough for Bill Clinton ... Not good enough for us!!!!
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TRUMP ~2016~
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SO Hillary ... Obamas CHEERLEADER???? YOU support partial birth abortion, as LONG as you weren't the baby of course!!!!
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Can I live 8 more years? Let's find out together. Bernie ~2016~
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A cat or dog may steal your heart ... A ferret steals your socks!
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You want cuddles on demand? Here's a $20, buy a dog!
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What do you mean "your chair" ? I don't see you sitting in it!
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Futility ... No matter how determined you may be, no matter how great your patience.
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Stop trying to make Bing happen. It's not going to happen!
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Sorry DAT my cleanliness causes U problems....
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I'm sorry, i was gonna write something funny, but i got lost in this guys eyes.
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Taylor Swift ... So, he calls me up and he's like "I still love you" and I'm like:
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