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Senior Citizen texting code ....
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Forget U & that DAMN camera... I'm late for BINGO
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Bingo night just got real.
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Al Sharpton ... All this SNOW is white! This snow is racist!!
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Snow shoveling gone wrong ... I give up!
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I wish my dad had taught me to shovel the driveway like this.
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I want your love and i want your revenge. You and me could write a bat romance!
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Get the milk! Get the bread! Get the toilet paper! It's gonna SNOW!
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Hey! Did you know you can start a penguin stampede by chewing on just one of them?
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Live on a farm they said. It will be fun they said!
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What kind of person throws their cat into the snow for the sake of a funny photo?
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Winter wonderland my butt .. Let me in!!
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YOU picked a fine time to leave US Lucilleeee... NO food in the frig, no liquor, not even the breadddd & milkkkk ...
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Fargo man arrested for clearing snow with flamethrower ... Fox stated that he was simply "fed up with battling the elements" ...
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I believe that I'll take me a walk to the liquor store!
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It's hard to find a job after the Death Star blew up.
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2 hours of shoveling snow... U mean FREE gym membership
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Bosses BE like... "You still coming to work right?"
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In other news, today: 2 feet of snow fell this morning...
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Happy National Cat Day
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It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.
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Ellen Degenerous / Matt Lauer Fued ...
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Funny Plummers ...Can ya GET those britches for me CHAMP?
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MADEA...PLZ Lord.... JUZ let me BE on DAT debate stage with Hillary just one damn time.
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Madea listening to Hillary at the presidential debate... When your pissed, Lord please give me patience, because if you give me strength...
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Madea... "You mean to tell me i ain't go no FaceBook access in here?
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The great debate... If only the presidential debate was this easy!
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Google Search... I accidentally slept with my sister
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Google funny searches... how come a cupcake is not a mineral
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Google Search ... Can rabbits smoke weed? I smoke everyday, son!
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Google Searches... why are you so obsessed with me etc....
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Unacceptable donations: Flammable materials, microwaves,food,used mattresses, and box springs, organs ...
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You are not hungry. You are bored! Drink some water & learn the difference.
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SO Bernie see you GOT some new weave... I AM no Donald Trump! Will NOT put up with DE hair jokes!
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Did you know 1 out of 3 Hillary supporters are just as stupid as the other two?
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Ignorance is bliss!
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Stupidity should be painful!
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I Google my insults to make sure i don't misspell something while calling people stupid.
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To all the hunters who kill animals for food, shame on you:
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I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes.
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