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Coffee ... Black? Or with cream??
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So I saw this on a car today ... If I'm speeding. It's because i have to poop.
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Got a new car. Chicks love it.
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Not to be outdone by Trump offering kids free helicopter rides in Iowa, Hillary offers kids free rides on her broom.
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WEEKEND UPDATE: BUFORD CALLOWAY ON ATLANTA SNOWSTORM ... Buford Calloway reveals how he held up N 2 inches of snow N his white Escalade drinking Dixie champagne " Coca Cola."
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Corporate FatCat IZ keepin teh bonus
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Excuse me, Do u know the way to the knitting festival?
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ZZZZZZZ... DE DOG & I...ZZZZZ R LUVERS ......UHHHH WAKE UP...HELLL"NO"
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Play with yarn, no one notices. Play with the hamster, everyone loses their minds!
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...and then one day, the yarn fought back.
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The face you make when you see somebody spending money and they owe u money
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My reaction when i see people liking their own status
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Damn Bitch Chill! My status ain't even about you!
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What? It's been a ruff day.
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I SUPPOSE SAY N, "I DON'T GIVE CATZ AZZ Would be totally UnProfessional
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Sometimes a business's success is based on... Location! Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor ...
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You have failed to adequately clean my litter box. I have no choice, I'm going to have to let you go.
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Excuse me... Your doin that wrong. I'm up here.
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Handed the most dangerous weapon in the galaxy. Immediately point at face.
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What do you call security guards working outside Samsung Shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
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MY FACE WEN DE DOG EATS... PEOPLEZ FOOD
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2 years experience in PHP, Javascript, CSS "I have 6 years of experience as a developer"
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The feeling of having to poop so bad... You turn into the hulk on the way to the bathroom
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Sometimes the best relationships are formed by the most unlikely pairs
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When the computer asks "Are you sure?" It's because it remembers all of the other bad decisions you've made.
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The mailman started to carry mace and things kinda escalated
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Patience, Grasshopper. Let the mailman come to YOU.
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FACEBOOK... WER FAKE FRIENDS GATHER TO ASSOCIATE WIT
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Reasons to date me: 1- No one will try to steal me from you 2- Sometimes i'm fun.
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My fellow men of the world: Put the video games down. Man-up, Suit-up
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What do you got if you ain't got Bon Jovi?
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WEN MA PRESENTS DELICIOUS APPETIZER WEN YA KNOW YO ON DE DIET
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When I give bitches this look. They know that they are coming back home with me.
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HUSBANDS SET SAIL.. N ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE WIVES... DURING DEEP SEA FISHIN SEASON
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Awaiting the fishing boats
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I realized I hadn't changed my profile in a long time, so here's a chimp riding a bicycle.
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Who needs a child when they can experience every boring detail of parenthood through your Facebook updates.
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Do you want to make money from FaceBook? It's easy. Just go to your account setting, Deactivate your account, and go to work!
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No, i don't watch soap operas. There's a new episode every 5 minutes.
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NOTIFICATION = XR commented on same post
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