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When you accept the fact that you're not gonna get in shape this summer, but you cute, great personality, and stylish. So it don't matter.
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By FartInvite
Come to Arizona they said. It's a dry heat, they said
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By FartInvite
When ur friends cancel on u but it doesn't matter because you were never actually going anyway.
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You actually believe criminals will obey gun control laws? You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?
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Ignore the camera. I'm trying. You're an idiot!
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By FartInvite
When you see someone you can't stand and they're over there just existing and breathing
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Bacon Wrapped Cheese Stuffed Meatloaf Why? Because nobody wants to die eating a carrot.
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By FartInvite
Ok it's been 12 years now, I'm starting to think I'm not bloated.
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By FartInvite
When my friends ask me to make sure they don't do stupid things when they get drunk. But when they get drunk, I'm like...
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By FartInvite
That moment when you're poopin' and you've got a cling-on, and you know your only hope is praying...
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When you hide food in the fridge and come home to find someone ate it.
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When all your friends are getting engaged or in a relationship and you're just over here like...
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When she gets her hair done and she's waiting for you to notice.
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By FartInvite
When your boss starts telling you what to do like you don't do the same shit day in, day out
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Being freshly single & trying to navigate the complicated dating landscape.
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When you are having fun until that annoying friend shows up
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Cooking is hard...
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By FartInvite
I don't know why my co workers care that I came back from lunch a little tipsy. Let's focus on the positive, at least I came back...
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By FartInvite
When you accidentally ate too many weed brownies but you still have important shit to do today.
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6 Views
By FartInvite
Girl - Come over!!! Guy - I can't I'm blind.. Girl- but I'm home alone..
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By FartInvite
" Make the pond great again "
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Couldn't decide what are to put in my living room so i hung up a picture of the living room
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By FartInvite
She's made it very clear that we're just friends, so if you could give us separate checks, that would be great.
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When you in an argument and you hear him mutter " okay you're right " under his breath
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10 Views
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If he doesn't have a bright future, ladies you better let that... Mango
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By FartInvite
REASONS I CAN RELATE TO A RACCOON
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3 Views
By FartInvite
MY GIRLFRIEND SAYS SHE SHOULD ONLY HAVE TO DO HALF THE HOUSEWORK. WHAT? SO, I HAVE TO GET A SECOND GIRLFRIEND?
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By FartInvite
When I say I'm hungry and someone says, " you just ate... "
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You're hired Now clean up my mess
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By FartInvite
Cross my paws and hope to live ... I did not do it!
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By FartInvite
I am sooo bored... think i'll lay on my back for a while!
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Are you ready for walkies? they ask... " I was born ready for walkies "
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By FartInvite
My Hunting Dog Is On High
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See?!? This is how my litter box smells! Not exactly roses now , is it?
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By FartInvite
MONDAY'S SURE AS HELL AREN'T FUNDAYS
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By FartInvite
When your mum randomly enters your room at night and you only have a second to think of a sleeping position
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PROOF THAT NOBODY LIKES VEGANS
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By FartInvite
my hobbies include staying up until 2 am for no reason and being exhausted the next day
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By FartInvite
When you feed your dog Frosted Flakes...
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By FartInvite
When someone asks if I've lost weight but I've actually been eating more. Bless you...
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