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Dr. Phil... to Bruce Jenner... What are ya doin'?
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I don't know karate but, i do know crazy and, i'm not afraid to use it.
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Men be like... Babe when i get out I'm gonna marry you.
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You're asleep at 7am? Let me play the song of my people.
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What is this? A picture for ants?
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A good wife can bring balance to your life.
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I put fabric softeners in my underwear before work so no one can smell my farts.
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This is your captain speaking... The passenger in row 35 is requested to immediately stop farting.
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Nobody listens to me until I fart.
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Sometimes when you cry noone sees your tears. But fart just one time.
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Fart Sounds. They're almost always funny.
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I want a hot body, but i also want tacos.
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Bon Jovi Disciplines Bieber. Justin MY man... BEST straighten ON up U plan on being ON the TOP of your game 30 yrs down the road!!!!
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Justin Bieber... Look folks, I'm NOT Bon Jovi, SO don't expect me to BE on time 4 my concerts!!!!!
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Matt Lauer Puts Up Ellen billboard Payback ... Need a plumber?
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Funny Fart Pic... Matt Lauer... Fifty Shades Of Grey
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Speed Limit... 2x=(360/4) solve for x
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BUT OFFICER!! I am safe and secure... I'm using my truck's hood to hold my head & body in.
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I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a better argument than that.
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Just a moment please I'm looking up your account
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Thanks for the game invite.
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I speed because I have to poop.
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WOOHOO! I made it past airport security!
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We are PitBulls... Only thing dangerous about us is our Gas!!!!
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Man Forced To Eat Beard
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Caution Men At Work. Women work all the time- Men have to put up signs when they work.
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A perfect man... Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't argue, and doesn't exist
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Never be ashamed of a scar. Our scars are our songs - Edgar Allan Poets-
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When people start asking me if I have plans for valentine's day.
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I have a dream that one day, I will shut my PC down, open my damn book and start studying..
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Relationships... Sure there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
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Not Will Ferrell... People shouldn't be allowed to get their license until they beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart.
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If u want to say thanks to your friend. Call or tell it personally instead of a thank you on FaceBook.
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This FART thanks U for the fix...
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WHERE WILL YOU BE... WHEN DIARRHEA STRIKES?
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WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO TALK DIRTY LIKE THAT? THE TOILET STORE?!
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When you see this You know you are fu**ed
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So you have an opinion about my life. Which one of my bills will you be paying this month?
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When you walk up to opportunity's door, don't knock, kick that bitch in and introduce yourself.
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I'm sorry I called you stupid. I'm sorry I farted into your purse.
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