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Oh look at those cute puppies!!
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So You Leftz DE FaceBook Open...HEY JUZ Mak N Sure Dadz NOTZ Cheat N On Mom
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Wisconsin couple were treated for minor injuries at the local hospital emergency. After their smart car hit a squirrel on highway 8.
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Voting For Hillary Is Like... Letting Casey Anthony watch your kids because she's not guilty!
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Discovered Ebay! Sold the cat!
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In loving memory of SLEEP, so suddenly taken from us by menopause.
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When i get old, i don't want people thinking, "What a sweet little old lady" I want em' saying "Oh crap! What's she up to now?"
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New job. First day. Have to make a good impression.
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I hate it when some people can sleep as fast as they shut their eyes. This shit takes me 3 HRS, 700 positions.
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No regrets. Just good times. Love and peace!
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The look on my face when... I want the staff meeting to be over but that one co worker will not shut up!!!
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Part of the problem with the world today is no one snaps green beans with grandma anymore.
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Some people might as well post "Wants Attention" as their Facebook status.
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Why must i prove that i am me to pay my bills over the phone? Do strangers call to pay my bills? And if they do why don't you let them?
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Publicly exposed classified information... wanted for treason! Crooked Hillary secretly exposed classified information... wanted for President?
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If Hillary is the answer, it must be a stupid question!
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HILLARY FOR PRISON 2016
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Wanted - Looking for someone to do yard work. Must have hoolahoop.
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I rakes yur leaves. You pay me biscuits.
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JUZ because we dead Earl... Does NOT mean WE don't Keep Up The Yard
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When your husband takes too long to rake the yard.
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Interesting Confusions - 1) Can U cry under water? 2) Do fishes ever get thirsty? 3) Why don't birds fall off trees when they sleep?
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That one girl that always hangs out with the boys because it's less drama.
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Princesses don't do laundry
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I don't like the terms housewife and homemaker. I prefer to be called Domestic Goddess. ~Roseanne Barr~
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Because I'm boss like that.
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Doesn't come to the office all week. Shows up Wednesday before Thanksgiving to make sure no one leaves early.
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Stick with me during the Zombie Apocalypse. I kill Zombies and when i'm not doing that I cook, clean, and bake shit.
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Baking cookies like WUT
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it says here that i can buy two cats for the price of one. The time to build my army of minions is now!
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I will be supervising your shopping trip. Makes shur you get the right cat treats this time.
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When your mum goes shopping and forgets the only thing you asked her to get...
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Shopping - When you start shopping. When you enjoy your shopping. When you see what you want. When you finish shopping. When you see the bill.
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Husband Cre'che - Is he getting under your feet? Why not leave him here while you shop!
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If you don't want me to shop online, you really shouldn't use my name as all your passwords.
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The buns are for the "other" hot dogs, right?
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Now listen up Tid Bit. Please don't throw a fit when you see Fancy Feast. We are getting Kitten Chow period.
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I had to buy dis cart. Neerly dislokated my jaw carryin him da old way.
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Window shopping!
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When you look through your recent transactions trying to find mistake, but there's no mistake cus it was you, it was all you. Sunday nights checking your bank account.
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