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My Lucky Scratch OFF... MUTZ GET away from DE Cat
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When you've been at work 9 hours and see dogs in Instagram with 2M followers who generate more income than you.
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Rex seem to change after winning the lottery. Bottom Caption!
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" I deserve the world so i'm going to get it myself."
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Climbs treez iz fun. U sed. Wut culd go rong, u sed.
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Meanwhile AT the office ...
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Some people in the morning. Me!
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When girl friend talk too much .......
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Wake up every morning with the thought that something wonderful is about to happen.
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You will need to lick the affected area as often as you possibly can.
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Good morning sir. I was wondering if you have considered letting dog into your life?
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Good Morning ... Coffee do your thang ...
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Fill it ALLLLLL the way up... Cause even your bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.
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Good Morning! I'm just gonna wag my tail against noisey stuff until you wake up because i love you.
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Whether getting a haircut... or selling your home, always hire a professional.
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Doggie Dream #93: There are no more baths, only swimming pools...
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My dream wedding. It would look like this.
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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
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Happy Birthday. You know in dogs years you'd already be dead!
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OMG... is someone really throwing that out?! I can paint that and make it beautiful again.
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When i'm taking a nap and my mom yells, "The Food's Ready."
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Did you see what the cat did!
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And God said let's make kittens soft and warm. Like fuzzy hugs and put razor blades on their feet.
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No, i haven't seen the dog. Care for some BBQ?
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Oh, one thing... turns out i will need you to work on labor day.
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" I want three layers and don't cut the length. "
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The leaves are falling... My coffee is calling!
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We thought you said it was. Labrador weekend.
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When there's a hurricane @ 9 and a party @ 9:30
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I dared my my husband to walk around the block dressed as death during the blizzard.
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That moment when your job is the only place that didn't shut down.
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How you look when you see cops at the neighbors house.
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Bitch please. I'm so freaking fabulous, i pee glitter, shit cupcakes and fart rainbows.
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Today's top story. I'm miserable at work.
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You better give me that pizza crust fat ass!
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I farted in bed and woke my cat up. She stared at me like this for 15 minutes...
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I lost my phone and it's on silent.
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YOUR FACE... When your phone is not in your pocket.
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" Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed." ~George Burns~
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When you hit snooze too many times so now you speeding thru traffic so you not late to work.
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