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Pay attention to how people talk about other people because that's exactly how they talk about your ass.
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Everyone's screaming lock the doors and hide. And i'm like... here clowny clowny!!!
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i just saved a ton of money on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FaceBook,
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You know your family has issues when they delete you as a friend on FACEBOOK.
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NO LONGER PLAYS IN THE NFL STILL GOT AN EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION PENALTY
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By FartInvite
I WILL CUT YOU.
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Some of ya'll girls gotta chill wit the makeup until we get this clown situation under control.
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Hillary: Don't LET Go JUZ yet Donald My Servants Aren't Here ON Stage... Donald: I GOTCHA Madam Secretary Clinton
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Hillary: Good Thang I practiced My Miss America Wave... Donald: Hillary, Gurl...UMMM, You Do Know We're LIVE At The DEBATE Stage?!!?
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Donald Trump: Little Tipsy tonight HEY Hill... Hillary: NAH, Donald, Not SO Loud, Will Ya?!!? We're LIVE.
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DAMN ... Thank God For Captain Morgan Best Liquor This Side Of The Debate Stage.
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He Asked Me Where's DEM Emails? Told HIM We wiped DAT server Clean BABY?!!? Then he admitted not paying any taxes! And then...
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By FartInvite
If i was lying wouldn't my pants be on fire.
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Build A WALL Just practicing
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Hillary's off to her next debate
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And then I said my hard drive was deleted!
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OK, I'm ready to go to the theater.
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By FartInvite
HEY KID, WANNA BUILD A WALL?
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I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom, as soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.
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Democrats care about black folks... Every four years.
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When you see neighbors putting up Christmas decorations before Halloween.
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Ma'am did you know you had a tail light out. No officer cause i drive from the inside of my car.
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Being in a relationship... What friends think we do. What parents think we do. What i think we do. What we actually do!
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" So what did you end up doing last night?"
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We all have that one friend who is always thinking about food.
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When your at a party and you only know one person
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By FartInvite
JESUS LOVES YOU! BEWARE OF DOG!
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That face you make when someone you thought was smart says Hillary will make a good president.
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Face i make when ... People post pics of their kids on FaceBook and i say " I Love Them ."
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I been single so long, i don't even know how to flirt anymore. Them: ur cute. Me: so do u like bread?
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By FartInvite
I want a clown to try and roll up on me!
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When one of your friends brings up your plans in front of the person who's not invited:
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By FartInvite
DEAR AUTOCORRECT,AT NO POINT HAVE I EVER MEANT " DUCKING "
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By FartInvite
When i asked for a smoking hot body, menopause was not what i had in mind.
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By FartInvite
Let some clown run up on me. He gonna learn today.
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By FartInvite
The scariest thing about crazy chicks is: They usually have a crazier friend that will help them do the craziest shit.
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By FartInvite
I'm bored of all the political posts, so here's a sexy Scot in a kilt... You're welcome ladies!
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By FartInvite
Anyone missing their mother in law?
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When you try to kill a spider but you miss and can't find it.
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When my mom finds out i lost her tupperware
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